My Failed Attempt at Being Wolverine

At the age of 12 I had a dream of being Wolverine. I didn’t want his claws, muscles, or healing factor, but his hairstyle. In the summer of 1991, we headed to Dallas, from the family ranch, where I would be starting 7th grade that fall. On our drive we made a stop in San Antonio to visit family. Along the way I picked up Spider-Man issue #12 because Wolverine was making a guest appearance.

Spider-Man Being Wolverine

I would often daydream about being Wolverine, or a female version of him. Page 1 of this issue pretty much sealed the deal for me. I was going to look just like Wolverine!

Being Wolverine

Before I go any further, let me remind you that I was only 12 years old. I knew NOTHING about hair and how difficult it is to cut hair as thick as mine.

I Was Obsessed with Being Wolverine

Since we were going to be in San Antonio I figured I would ask my aunt Kay to cut my hair just like Wolvie’s. After all, she owned her own beauty salon, she cut hair for a living and surely she’d be able to give me the Wolverine mane. Aunt Kay continuously warned me that it wasn’t possible to achieve that look but I wouldn’t hear any of it. It was only after begging and pleading that she caved in.

Still, she kept warning me that it wouldn’t look like the picture above. Those words went in one ear and out the other. The day came and I strategically placed the issue on her table so that Wolverine was staring straight at her. It would be impossible to screw it up…the picture was right there for her to look at.

This is what my hair looked like before I went in for the Wolverine cut. Thick, very thick, and long. Did I mention it was thick?

Before Being Wolverine

After hours and hours of cutting and feathering my hair, Kay was finished. But it didn’t look like Wolverine’s hair at all. (Unfortunately I don’t have a picture of it) I was more than disappointed at the whole thing.

I No Longer Dreamed of Being Wolverine

When we got to Dallas I was so frustrated with my new haircut that I decided if I couldn’t have Wolverine’s hair I didn’t want any at all. So I went and had it shaved off. That was mistake number two. Here is the result:

Not Being Wolverine

So that’s how I started 7th grade at a brand new school. Yes, I was teased like crazy and yes it sucked. I wouldn’t let ANYONE touch my hair for about 5 or 6 years. No hair cuts, no hair products (i.e. hairspray,gels,etc.), I never even put a blow dryer to it.

I look back now and it’s a funny to think that at one time, I tried desperately to look like Wolverine. Ahhh…the innocence and ignorance of youth.

Here’s another funny thing, if you look at X-23 (Wolverine’s female clone) you’ll notice she doesn’t even have his hair! That makes me feel better about my failed attempt.

x-23 being wolverine

3 Comments on "My Failed Attempt at Being Wolverine"

  1. John Liam says:

    I thought the short hair look was cute on you. But please, NEVER try and look like a hairy, short Canadian again.

    Man, not hard to tell it was the 90s. McFarlane went a weeeeee bit overboard with the art, didn’t he?

  2. katherine says:

    hey jocylyn im not reallymsure how to spell your name but i have drawings of maybe wat wolverines second daughter could look like the only problem is that i cant put them online i dont knoe how and i dont know if my mom would let me

  3. Great article Jocelyn!

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