What would you do if your spouse left without saying a word and went missing for a week? Maybe you know but when Mark Pitta disappeared in September of 2011, I had nothing but questions. We’d been married for less than a year so how could he possibly abandon me like this?
I’ll start at the beginning. In August of 2011, Mark’s mother, Hazel Pitta, sadly passed away. Mark, his two older siblings, Kathy and Darryl, plus long-time family friend, Sue, decided to organize a memorial. Around the beginning of September Mark and I drove to his mother’s house so that he, his siblings, and Sue could discuss the preparations necessary for the memorial. Now I knew Mark was still grieving, and I made sure I was there for him at all times. I’d cradle him whenever he began to cry or listen to his stories about his mother. However, what I didn’t know was the intense amount of anger he’d built up and it was on the verge of exploding inside him.
As Mark and his family began to talk about the memorial, I just sat and listened. I could tell the conversation was not going well and when we left, Mark was extremely unhappy. Or at least I thought he was…instead Mark had hit his boiling point but I wouldn’t know this until it was too late. The long drive back home was uncomfortable. Mark would periodically make mention of how insensitive his family had been and I would give him a sympathetic reply. We must’ve been less than 10 minutes from the house when a woman cut Mark off on the freeway causing him to fly into an uncontrollable rage.The more I tried to calm him down the angrier he became and soon I became his verbal punching bag.
When we got home I knew it was best to stay out of Mark’s way so I took Reno for a walk. When I returned, Mark and his car were gone. That night I went to bed early. I still believed he would return while I was asleep and he’d be next to me come morning.
He didn’t return the next day or the day after that plus I hadn’t heard from him nor. His phone was off and he wasn’t replying to my emails. That Tuesday, I went to the 142 Throckmoton Theatre where he did his weekly show and waited for his. He never appeared. Lucy Mercer, who runs the theater, said she’d let me know if he turned up. I was still new to Mill Valley and didn’t have any friends of my own. So I kept to myself as I tried to figure out what to do. I drove around Marin County going to the few hotels/motels I knew of in hopes that I’d see his car. No such luck. And with each passing day I was becoming drained and overwhelmed with sadness, fear and confusion.
By the end of the week I contacted his sister Kathy. We both decided to put out a missing persons report out on Mark. I contacted the police and an officer arrived to take down all the appropriate information. The following day I received a call from Kathy telling me that a letter had arrived from Mark. It appeared that Mark had voluntarily left and was no longer a missing person. She scanned and emailed me the handwritten letter so that I too could read it. I then sent it to the police as evidence. Below is the letter Mark Pitta wrote to his sister. (WARNING this letter contains profanity/explicit language)
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How did I feel reading this? At the time, I was relieved because he was still alive but now I this letter disgusting and inexcusable. But I was too naive to see the obvious signs of Mark Pitta’s mental instability, narcissism, and the verbal abuse he unleashed upon his own family.
That evening I heard a noise outside and went to investigate. An envelope had been placed under the windshield of the second car with my name on it. I recognized Mark’s handwriting. I looked around but didn’t see a trace of Mark or his car he was driving. My heart was pounding, I didn’t want to open it but I knew I had to. Below is Mark’s letter to me. (While his letter isn’t mean…his abandoning me was just another manifestation of abuse)
I couldn’t stand to know he was suffering and wouldn’t let me help him. I would be strong for us both. So I sent him the following email (please click the image below to enlarge)
I meant every word I said in that email and the following day he came home. I wasn’t mad at all, I was just so happy to have my husband home. Of course I’d forgive him… I’d unknowingly become a victim of his narcissistic abuse and couldn’t see the real Mark Pitta hidden behind his “false self”.
I wish I could say this was the last time Mark ever did this…but that only happens in fairy tales with happy endings. This nightmare, however, is just getting warmed up and will be one hell of a show.
Probably realised he didnt want [DELETED].
Your message was edited due to offensive language
Don’t know. Ask him.
I only know mark from the 1993 Penthouse Video “The All-Pet Workout”. His jokes were lame. I wonder if he’s still in touch with any of those women?
What kind of person posts her husband’s personal marital business (including screenshots of personal text exchanges and letters) all over the internet, in the name of “helping other women” all while accusing her husband of being a narcissist? I’ll tell you what kind- a vindictive, immature, heartless narcissist herself. If you truly posted that to help other women, you would have blogged under a pseudonym and covered up your husband’s name. Who can blame him for disappearing into the night- he chose poorly and he knew it.
The same kind of person who would post a comment such as yours. Thank you.
J,
He hurt you by abandoning you. That’s terrible. No excuse.
Now you’ve proven that you’re willing to hurt him back (and his career) with this ongoing public posting of dirty laundry. Claiming this post is anything virtuous on your part seems painfully self-righteous. I hope I’m wrong though.
That said, If I were you, I’d probably never forgive Mark. That doesn’t mean you need to try to hurt him by maintaining this perpetual reminder of your open wound, nor you be that for him.
You’ll probably disagree with me. I genuinely wish you peace nonetheless. I’m sorry you had to endure that shit storm.
—Pat
Hi Pat,
My posts about our relationship/marriage was not only a way of trying to figure out where we’d both gone wrong, but it also helped in my healing process. I’ll never claim to be self-righteous, goodness knows I have too many faults. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts and opinions. I haven’t mentioned him anywhere since those posts which are a few years old anyways.
I do believe your sincerity and again, thank you for sharing. :)
Hard disagree. The worst thing about male violence is NOT that it makes men look bad. He was driving a car and enraged at every single woman who “did him wrong”? He could have killed someone. But that’s okay to Pat, what isn’t okay is an honest retelling of events?
Male violence is an epidemic. Women who are narcs can be abusive too, I’m not minimizing that. But abusive men are helped and coddled every step of the way. The court system, law enforcement, even strangers on the street are more likely to favor men over women. That’s why male abuse is the epidemic it is. That’s why the past year has seen an explosion of domestic violence, intimate partner murders, and men have been the overwhelming perpetrators.
Mark pitta on KTVU 2 stop by pleasant hill police for going 80mpa coming off exit 49a onto CC BL. moto cop
gives him a ticket mark tears the tickett up and puts it in the cops pocket. youtube , vimeo
Ross,
If this really is you and it is a true news story…then I’m actually shocked. I mean he just turned 63 and I thought that maybe being an old man now, he would’ve calmed down a bit. I guess not.
I’m with you Jocelyn!
Mark is a psycho! Steer clear!
I so feel for you, Jocelyn.
Mark is a jerk and needs mental help.
The other people who are writing have no clue what a psycho he is.
Jocelyn,
I am with you! I had a very similar experience with this psychopath and thank God I was not married to him.
I feel for you and so happy to hear you lhad the strength to leave him and have moved on with your life!
He needs serious mental help!
This is the most pathetic thing I’ve seen. A comic book autobiography- that is about right for a weak insecure woman who deals with it pretending she is strong and helping others. The age of humanism where human filth can trick itself into thinking it’s empowered and has a culture and feel good language to be able to live blind and advertise their own weaknesses in such embarrassing fashion and call it empowerment. The most pathetic woman on the internet- this is a thing of beauty if you get past the car wreck element of this woman’s life.
Jane,
I do sense a lot of jealousy and negativity in your comment. However, everyone is entitled to their own opinion even if I don’t agree.
Cheer up! Being angry and bitter isn’t very sexy anyways. :D
Jocelyn, you should be ashamed postings something so private and personal. Have you no pride? Most couples have “issues” in their relationships. I feel sorry for Mark. If you have any decency you would remove the very personal postings of the man you say you loved. Mark is a talented and accomplished man, what have you done with your life?
Glad you asked. I’m writing an autobiographical comic book series which is now on issue #3.
Cheers!
This doesn’t speak well of you when you take what is obviously a personal matter and make it public. Don’t you have any shame for what you’ve done? The only reason I went on this page was because I thought the title was referring to some kind of play or movie Mark was in. I’m shocked that you’d take what is obviously personal and spread it to the world. Mark’s mental health is none of my business or anyone else’s. You should be ashamed for what you’ve done.
David,
And you should be ashamed for condoning his actions. I am sharing my experience and I feel no shame in that.
I agree with David Kaye.
I happened on here by mistake.
What is disgusting is making a personal matter public, to the world.
You jocelyn should be ashamed of yourself.
What a pathetic person ,you are.
You’re sharing yours and Mark’s personal experience to the world.
Does you mini brain comprehend how social media works?
I’m sure you don’t feel shame, that makes you even more pathetic
But this is the world we live in now, everyone makes everything public to the world,
without considering consequences.
I hope for the best for Mark.
I wish you the worst. This is your karma
Gerard,
I only shared my experience to help others. While I don’t agree with your comments (as disrespectful they may be) you are entitlted to them.
Thank you for wishing me the best and karma has been very good to me. :)
[…] knew he’d stay away from me, perhaps longer than the last time, and so I called Crystal and a flight to Atlanta was booked for the next day. I packed a suitcase, […]