Mark Pitta – When the Vow Breaks the Marriage Will Fall

On October 28th, 2016 Mark Pitta and I celebrated our six year wedding anniversary with a relaxing weekend in Savannah, Georgia. However, with Reno being blind and requiring insulin shots twice a day meant we couldn’t board him and Crystal wasn’t available that weekend to watch him. So Mark asked Kay Richards if she was available and wouldn’t you know it…of course she was!

She flew from San Francisco to Atlanta a few days before Mark and I left on our romantic getaway. We took advantage of those few days together by going sight seeing, having romantic dinners and I went to the spa while Mark visited an old friend who had moved there from Los Angeles. Meanwhile, back at home, Crystal and Kay attended a Halloween party at a friend’s house that weekend.

Mark and I came home Sunday, October 30th and the next day was Halloween. While at work, Mark and Kay spent the entire day setting up the Halloween decorations. After giving numerous compliments, I headed into the master bedroom while Crystal went upstairs. I don’t remember falling asleep but I do remember hearing the doorbell ring every couple of minutes. A few hours later I awoke and headed towards the kitchen. Mark stopped me and eagerly began to show pictures of all the kids and their costumes. I remember smiling and being quite happy that his first Halloween in Georgia had gone well.

Crystal’s bedroom light was on so I went upstairs and found her sitting up in bed watching television. Joining her, I sat on the other side of the bed but about twenty-minutes later we could smell something delicious coming from the kitchen. Realizing we hadn’t eaten dinner we headed down the stairs and saw Mark in the kitchen making two bowels of pasta. Crystal and I, in a playful voice, asked him “What are you making us for dinner?”.

No response. Just a stone cold face, and the clanging of him putting dishes in the sink. He didn’t care that we were joking around about dinner. And in the back of my mind I kept asking myself, “What have I done now?! Why is he so angry?!”. I could see Kay in the master bedroom, with the lights out except for a glare coming from the television and I knew both she and Mark were about to watch a movie. As Mark left the kitchen with two pasta dishes and a bottle of wine in hand, I said in a loud voice, “You don’t have to be such a dick!”. I didn’t scream it, but I made damn sure he heard it.

He closed the bedroom door. I went to follow but Crystal grabbed my arm and said, “Just let it go, ok.”. I calmed down and made us both an egg sandwich. As we were leaving the kitchen I could see Reno standing in front of the master bedroom door. I knew he wanted  to lay on his bed. So I walked over, opened the door and said, “Reno wanted inside.” 

I went back upstairs to join Crystal but no sooner was there stomping coming up the stairs. In charges Mark, right towards me only to stop within an inch of my face. His scolding voice echoed throughout the house, calling me every terrible name you can think of, yes even calling me the “C” word. Paralyzed with fear, I remained quiet but from the corner of my eye I could see Crystal was terrified. He then grabbed two remote controls that were next to me on the bed and threw them. I barely dodged the remotes and they wound up hitting the wall, leaving some cracks and a small hole. After storming out of the room, Crystal and I immediately turned out the lights and tried to go to sleep. My only hope was that maybe Kay would calm Mark down and get him to apologize…but that never happened.

Mark stayed in his man-cave while Kay slept in another spare bedroom upstairs. I left for work but kept replaying the events from last night, trying to figure out where I went wrong. That day Kay flew back home and Mark Pitta would be gone for 3 weeks the next. Therefore, in my delusional mind I thought I’d have this one night with Mark where we could talk things out but instead he never came home. He and Kay took a car service to the airport where he got himself a room at a nearby hotel for the night.

Devastated and confused, I began checking Mark’s emails. I’d hoped to find out just what in the hell was going on. The first email was sent the day he left for the cruise ship which you can read below.

Mark Pitta email

When I read that last line, my heart sank and I didn’t want to believe it. In all the years we’d been together and through all of his abuse, not once did I ever think about leaving him. I was in this marriage for the long-haul and had no intention of giving up…until I read the following two messages he’d sent via his Facebook account.

Mark Pitta facebook messageMark Pitta facebook message 2I felt betrayed, disgusted, and most of all heartbroken just knowing Mark wanted to leave me. The following day I found his wedding ring shoved in the back of his bedside table. Through all the fights and times of abandonment, not once did he ever remove his wedding ring but now, he’d broken my trust in him. Recognizing that our marriage was undoubtedly over, I gave myself a few days to decide what to do.

In that time I read the following correspondence between Mark Pitta and Kay on Facebook. (I have no comment on this because it speaks for itself) 

Mark Pitta and Kay Richards I had to make the first step in freeing myself from Mark Pitta and our destructive marriage. Otherwise I was certain I’d forgive him and allow the vicious abuse to continue. I remember crying over the phone while making an appointment for a consultation with a divorce attorney. I cried during the consultation, doing my best to explain the situation. She must’ve sensed my hesitation and confusion because before leaving, she said to me (something along these lines) “Listen, whether or not you retain my services is up to you. However, I really think you should read this.” She then handed me 9 stapled pages titled 20 Diversion Tactics Angry Manipulative Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths Use To Silence You.

I sat in the parking lot, skimming through the pages with a new realization. For each of the 20 examples given, Mark Pitta had used them at some point in our marriage. Well, no more! Never again would I be subjected to his mental, physical, and verbal abuse! Because on November 15th, 2016 I filed for divorce and had him served on November 20th at the airport upon his return.

The entire time he was away, not once did I attempt to contact him. Although he did email me twice just before coming back. You can read those emails below by clicking on the image. (and remember he doesn’t know I’ve already filed for divorce)

Mark Pitta Please ReadMark Pitta email 3After he was served, I wouldn’t take his calls or answer his emails. You can read the last of what I call ‘melancholy’ Mark’s email below.

Mark Pitta meloncholy emailEven though Mark Pitta was allowed to stay at the house, he could have the upstairs all to himself,  he decided to flee instead. (I don’t know where he is or what he’s doing and frankly I don’t care)

It hasn’t been easy recovering from a narcissistic, abusive, relationship but with each day I become a little stronger. By healing myself I can prepare to do the things I’ve always wanted to. The road ahead is long but the journey itself is not impossible. For anyone who is thinking of or has left an abusive relationship, you might be worried about your financial situation. If so, I encourage you to read this extremely helpful guide to financial recovery after leaving an abusive relationship.

14 Comments on "Mark Pitta – When the Vow Breaks the Marriage Will Fall"

  1. Daniel Sampeck says:

    It’s your old pal Dan from Half-Price Books, Dallas! I’m so sorry this happened to you. We can easily be swayed by the narcissist’s charm when they are trying to get what they want. The same thing happened to me…not once but twice this year. I’m staying away from women for a while. Anyhoo, I moved back to Dallas from Austin recently and have a job at Heritage Auctions where I handle the Ebay stuff for them. I’m mostly doing coins but I have recently been tasked to do COMICS! Let me know if I can keep an eye out for anything you may want.
    Daniel Sampeck

    • Jocelyn says:

      OMG Daniel! It’s been friggin crazy busy on my end but I’m going to send you a msg through FB. 🙂

  2. Angie says:

    Hello Jocelyn,

    Today, I found out Mark was hosting the comedy show at The Throckmorton. A couple of years ago, he was set to not host there every week and I emailed him asking about this. He replied he was moving to Las Vegas so I thought you and he had left the bay area.

    I called The Throckmorton today to find out if Mark had been hosting in the two years since he “left” and I was told that he hosts apx once a month. I was very surprised to hear this as I did not know anything about his regular gigs there. And, then I Googled him and I found your blog.

    A long time ago, I had heard that he had busted the windows of his girlfriend’s car (that would have been your sister’s car). And, at some point, I had heard he had married the same girlfriend.( I don’t think anyone would think it’s a good idea to marry someone who could do that, drunk or sober.)

    I do want to commend you for taking responsibility for your life and getting out of an unhealthy marriage. It took strength and courage and I applaud you.

    Before I read your blog, I had gone on Nextdoor in Mill Valley to promote Mark’s show. I don’t think I would have done that if I knew how he treated you. Having said that, I want to encourage you to remove it from the internet. I hope that one day, you will no longer feel vindictive towards a person you once loved and remove it. I do not know you or Mark personally. I’m going to surmise that Mark has mental health issues and because of this, I don’t think it’s right for his personal problems to be on the internet for the world to read. I have a brother who has a mental illness so I know a bit about people with mental illness.

    Please choose forgiveness over vindictiveness.

    Kind regards,


    • Jocelyn says:


      I understand where you are coming from. However, my intention is not to hurt but to help other women (and even men) who might find themselves in a similar relationship. They need to know that it’s not their fault, that this isn’t normal behavior between two people who love each other. Abuse is abuse…and no one should have to live with that.

  3. Björn says:

    Hi Jocelyn

    I stumbled upon your blog as I was looking in to subject of narcissism.
    I’ve read your posts abut M and I gotta say, the thing you put up with… wow. I hope this “experience” no matter how sad, bitter and degrading it’s been will leave you as a stronger person in the end.
    I hope that you soon will be able to put the energy you still waste on M (writing these blog posts f.e.) to better use. Finding happiness and a life you deserve and spending all of that energy on positive things that makes you feel better. For lets be honest, M doesn’t deserve a shred of your energy or attention anymore.

    Ps. I hope the dog is doing alright (I know the struggle with diabetes first hand)

    • Jocelyn says:

      Hi Bjorn.
      Thank you. My accounts with Mr. M will be put to very good use, not only as a learning experience but also for something I’ve been working on for many years now (never thinking in a million years that what I went through would become a part of it). Sorry for being so vague, but I’ve not yet announced this newest project but I will be soon.

      And thank you for asking about Reno. Reno was always sensitive to the environment around him and when Mr. M left I knew it broke his heart. I began working only two hour days so that I could spend the rest of my time with Reno and take care of him. Unfortunately he passed away in December of last year. Not a day goes by where I don’t think of him and cry.

  4. Tony says:

    I luckily have had a chance to meet you a few years back. You came in with your sister when she had service work done to her car. You two were extremely pleasant to help on every visit. What i remember is the energy and bright smiles. I wish you the best and as strong as you are, you will find what you are looking for. I am going thru a divorce myself. I can say I was missing more than one item from Kent’s relationship list. In addition, her mental illness in last 3-4 years was getting so bad i never knew what i would come home to. I can relate a little and can tell you i am looking forward to new opportunities. Hope you receive many great opportunities and stay strong. People that care, remind me im not alone. Jocelyn you are not alone.

    I am glad i have had a chance to meet two interesting women like you and your sister.

    • Jocelyn says:

      Hi Tony,

      Thank you so much for reaching out and…(sorry I’m blushing) because Crystal and I haven’t lost that southern pleasantry, our bright smiles, and being respectful towards everyone. If anything, I would never let my terrible experience with my marriage take that part away from me.

      I’m moving forward with new adventures and projects I’d always wanted to do…but wouldn’t (or couldn’t) because of Mark.
      I’m glad we made such a great impression on you and I know Crystal will too. 🙂

  5. Iynaroc says:

    I was just on my twitter home page and came across a joke I sent you some months ago, and decided to check any updates on your page, and low and behold this story. I thought it was a script and then realized it was real. You really went through a lot with this guy, and I sincerely hope you keep your head high, less emotional stress and your dignity intact. I do not know you and your sister in person, but I think you are very lovely nice ladies. Please accept my sincere good wishes, and definitely better tomorrow for you. Take care!

  6. Kent says:

    Ms Potter

    I just happen to come across your website and felt compelled to leave a comment for you. First off, I’m sorry that you had to go through all of that with Mark, but hopefully it’ll be a learning experience for you with your next relationship. Having said that, let me offer this to you that will (hopefully) answer a few things about Mark AND your future relationships. Their are 4 basic things to have a good and relationship, they are, Trust, Communication, Honesty and Respect. Now, no one is perfect at it, especially Mark from what I’ve read. He’s violated all 4, so their was not relationship there from the start from what I can tell. Anyway, I hope that helps you. Without those four basic things, there is no relationship no matter who a person is.

    • Jocelyn says:

      Hi Kent,
      First let me thank you for taking the time to read and reply to my post.
      Yes, this has been a major learning experience and something which I can look to for guidance in future relationships. I also agree (and have always believed) that nobody is perfect (goodness knows I’m certainly not). However, I was too trusting and naive to think that loving Mark would be enough to keep him happy.

      Thank you again, Kent. Your thoughts I take to heart.

  7. Michael says:

    Just by happenstance, I thought of you and your sister, wondering if you are both well and happy.
    First, my sincere empathy for what you have gone through, no one deserves that. I’ve been there and understand the complete desolation you feel
    I see that this post is 8 months old so I hope you ha e been able to pick yourself up and move on.

    All the best to you and your sister,

    • Jocelyn says:

      Thank you so much Michael. Your message has brought a smile to my face where there is still sadness. And that means a lot to me.

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