Even today I’m embarrassed to admit that I would spend the rest of my marriage walking on eggshells. I can count on one hand how many arguments Mark and I had where I knew what we were arguing about. It’s taken this long to realize that I wasn’t the cause of his sudden mood swings or responsible for his abusive verbal outbursts. Mark’s anger made him confrontational and I’m not one to fight, so I’d sit in silence getting attacked with his nonsensical accusations. I remained silent because I was trying to understand and process all that he was saying but he took my silence as me just being stand-offish which fueled his anger even more. I was always left wondering what in the hell just happened and what had I done to provoke him. He would leave the house and return very late in the evening, only to sleep upstairs on the couch. This could go on for days or sometimes a few weeks, making me afraid to go anywhere near him. He owned both cars so it’s not like I could just leave and drive away. Also, my “friends” were actually his friends so there was no one I could talk to. I was a prisoner and Mark had no problem taking advantage of this.
I was mentally and emotionally exhausted and desperate to have the loving Mark Pitta (I thought I’d married) come back. So I began apologizing and taking the blame for whatever it was he was angry about. I lied to myself and made excuses for his erratic behavior. I didn’t want to face the facts that the Mark Pitta he pretended to be, showed no resemblance to the man he really was (and I use the term “man” very loosely)
Below is an email from Mark dated February 4th, 2012 and is the perfect example of his toxic and abusive personality. (click on image to enlarge)