G.I. Joe Rise of Cobra I will not be among the thousands who flock to the theaters on August 7 in order to see G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. Nor will I be one of the thousands to rent or buy it when it’s released on DVD. I might catch it on one of the movie channels…but that’s if I bother to stop instead of flipping past it.

One of my favorite movies was and still is G.I. Joe: The Movie.

So why won’t I go see G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra? Well, I’m sure it’ll be a great action movie full of funny one liners and lots of things blowing up *yawn*…

The trailer alone has G.I. Joe cliche’ written all over it. I don’t give a flying [bleep] about the rivalry between Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow. What makes Snake Eyes so popular anyways? Oh yeah. He’s a faceless, mute, ninja who comes across as “mysterious” and “moody”. That’s because he can’t speak!!!

At least G.I. Joe: The Movie featured a whole new group of characters instead of focusing on the already popular ones. For the Joe’s it was Jinx, Chuckles,Tunnel Rat and the main hero Falcon. (No, I didn’t forget Big Lobb…poor Big Lobb)

Cobra-LaThen there was the new group of baddies,Cobra-La. Personally, I love Cobra-La and the fact that they’re the main villains in the movie is such a twist. Even if you hate Cobra-La you can’t deny that Nemesis Enforcer was a wickedly cool character and a 100% pure bad-ass.

Here’s the clincher for me as to why I won’t go see G.I. Joe:The Rise of Cobra…no Serpentor! He’s my all-time favorite villain! He’s emperor, supreme ruler and without him, there is no Cobra.

GI Joe Serpentor
I’m changing the title of the new G.I. Joe movie to read G.I. Joe: The Rise of A Hooded Villain and His Minions because…well that’s what it is. Right?

I’m so passionate about G.I. Joe: The Movie that I’ve written a comic book pitch called G.I. Joe: The Return of Cobra-La and would re-introduce Cobra-La back into the comic book series. (Without disrupting the current story line)

Now if they make a sequel to this G.I. Joe movie and Serpentor is in it…well I’ll be the first one in line on opening day. Until then, I’m sticking with G.I. Joe: The Movie and my opinions.